Noelle Noelle

This article was about attention deficit disorder and hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), and the controversies behind the disorder. I really like the title because it really makes readers question what it is about, also it kind of follows in the line of ADHD. The hook is good but I would like to know what ADHD stands for earlier in the introduction rather than having to find in later in the article. Also it was kind of confusing what “founder of ADHD” meant, maybe you could talk about how he founded it later in the article and important discover, etc. The introduction was good in general and provided good context on the issue. The listing of topics helps the reader follow the article better and keeps the article more organized. I like how the first paragraph added the authors own personal story to the paper, and allows the reader to relate to the author better. However, I think the first body paragraph could be elaborated on. For example, you can emphasize more how easy it was to get a prescription. I like how the next paragraph makes it seem like it is hard to get a prescription but the author subtlety makes it seem easy. The body paragraphs have good transitions between them. The body also is very strong on narrative and goo. There are prickles in the body but I think that there could be more. I think it may be hard to find more so this is not a big deal; also, the nature of this article does not call for a lot of prickles. The end of the body has a few short paragraphs that seem to be a little repetitive and could use some elaboration. It is only the draft so the author could still be finishing. The conclusion bring a good end to the article by bringing in everything. I really like the second to last paragraph because it makes me connect more to the author.